Emotional Well-being,  Healing Ritual,  In Spirit

I Just want to forget about cancer

Aimé Césaire Memorial – Martinique 2018

Back on the Journey

It’s been almost a year since I started writing this article and I’m up-dating and posting it now because a year on I have just had my six monthly check-up and I am cancer free, hurrah!  I am back on my travels and re-finding my spiritual path and professional focus.

Back in February 2017, I was diagnosed with cancer of the womb and it was devastating, I guess a cancer diagnosis always is!  But this type of cancer is the fourth highest type of cancer to affect women, especially those in their 50’s and I hadn’t even heard about it.

I Just want to Forget About Cancer!

Last week, a year on at my appointment I told the doctor, “I want to forget about the cancer, just put it behind me!”  “Well you can’t do that!’ she said staring at me.  And of course I can’t, not just can’t but probably shouldn’t, because if I do I might find myself right back where I was before my diagnosis.  

And I’m not talking about cancer cause or fault, it’s just that since I received my diagnosis I have made real shifts in my life.  There were pointers to change before, but my diagnosis has helped me create them faster!  And I have had to sit back and reflect on life and love and what matters.

It’s Huge and It’s Scary

Getting a cancer diagnosis is huge!   I told only a few of my friends that I needed a hysterectomy, the medical ‘cure’ for early stage cancer.  And I have been lucky, it was caught early and I need no further treatment, just regular check-ups to make sure that there is no reoccurrence.

But reflecting on that time and looking back, the reason I told very few people was because I was in denial and also scared of their reaction.  And frankly there was a part of me that felt ashamed, I felt weak and small emotionally, even though physically I didn’t show the outward trappings of illness.

A Wake-up Call to Remember

Vodun Festival – Benin 2019

Black women have a lower prognosis on diagnosis than white women and I wonder if this is because, we don’t want to show our venerability.  Or we are scared but won’t admit it.  Where does this come from and what do we lose through fear?

I am blogging about this now, because I recognise that cancer has been a ‘Wake-up Call’.   It has made me move further down the path of ancestral research, in a bid to know more and remember what has been lost from my family history.  Cancer has forced me to accept some unpalatable truths and also celebrate strengths in my family heritage.

And I have started to think more deeply about the way that I am approaching my personal and my professional life.  The way that we react as human beings in time of physical and mental health is a reflection of our knowledge about  ourselves, our family history and our ancestral lineage. For me it meant, dig deep, be courageous and stay spirited!

Until next time!

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